Yes

Yes, Michal talking about the hospital horror show helps.  I'm trying to get my complaint letter to be coherent and sending that will probably help too.  And hopefully I can get some things under control with seeing all of my doctors this week (the main ones.  And the dentist.  Fun week).  But right now I am just fighting with my enemies and one of those enemies is quitting.  I never have and won't, but I find it really ironic that I spent so much time being assessed for potentially trying to kill myself slowly (and trust me, having done the toxic thing twice, lithium may be a drug that can kill you but you do not want to try it.) when it is now that I have  risk level, but the risk level is pretty minimal when you know what you feel like with an accidental overdose of something.  But for the moment I just want to pretend I had some choice about going on with this living thing.  Because right now I'm very tired of it.

Note:  This is talking aloud.  I promise I will not hurt myself, have no plan to do so, I just want a break from fighting and can't get one.  this is more of that screwed up chemistry talking.  It will pass.  It's also because I am afraid.  That too will pass somehow.