We'll see

After getting encouragement from people here and in my real life that I am not showing signs of avoiding my job as well as being awake until 3:45 AM (this is why I hate ambien; it works a few nights then stops and usually leaves me hanging), I emailed Dr. Brain today to ask WHY (and if since I misinterpret things a lot) she thinks I'm trying to avoid work and since nothing I am doing is helping how I am going to make this better.  I included my feelings about the issue (ie I want to work.  I just can't, and now I feel incredible pressure to be better by next week when everything I try to sleep on schedule or function fails) as well as that I had asked several people none of whom thought I'm avoiding things.I admitted that I may well have totally misinterpreted her because I am so sensitive and depressed right now.  But I did confront the issue since it is making me miserable.  I have no idea if she'll get the email or respond, but I'm trying and if Dr. Mind has not contacted her and I don't know what is happening tomorrow I'll see if he can get anywhere.

I have no idea if this will do anything but at least I am questioning the person who brought it up, not myself.