Maybe for the best?

I cancelled my possible appointment with someone I didn't know today. I realized that was just making me more anxious, which isn't exactly the plan. Instead I have to go to the city anyway so the pharmacy can fill out part of a form that is needed to get my $700 back from the med I filled while between insurance and COBRA. I'll have to do this again in a few weeks with a $300 med, but that one needs Dr. Brain to get it approved and then to get it approved retroactively.

Decisions like that are so ridiculously hard because I feel terrible and scared in the evening and wake up better. It's getting close to time for a med for anxiety, but I've been up 4 1/2 hours. It's almost like the patch works best for those few hours, but it's not, because I wake up feeling ok and don't change patches until later. So maybe it's the tail-end of the patch that helps. Who knows?

Today's patch is going to be hard to keep on. I thought I'd be all smart and add another site across my upper chest. Unfortunately every time I move my arms it pulls on the patch and risks pulling it up. So it's taped down and if you look closely you can see the tape at the top of my shirt.

It's cold today. I need to wash my coat. Better get on that, in fact. At least during this part of the day anxiety gets things done. I have so far: showered, filled out my part of the insurance form; wrote a new version of my complaint to Walgreens and sent it to 3 places; gone to the bank to cash a check and start a Christmas Club account, worked on some clafications regarding work, and typed this blog.

Now, needless to say probably, it's time for some medication........



My mom is going to come along and we're going a couple places looking for Christmas presents for my sister and brother-in-law. Hopefully this will be a gentle enough activity.