There is so much going on in this country right now. So many parts of it are heart-breaking and I don't want to talk about most of it. Politics just aren't safe right now because people feel so strongly about so many things.
But I do want to just note that once again someone with a history of mental health issues has died in what appears to be a senseless tragedy, a tragedy that very easily could have taken the life of her baby as well as the lives of at least 2 police officers. 
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2 comments:
Psychiatry is strange- the more ill you are, the harder it is to find care. When I was at my worst, I had a number of psychiatrists tell me that they couldn't help me, I had been on everything. And then other psychiatrists tell me that (even though my parents were willing to private pay), I was too sick for them to see in their office. I should be in a Medicaid clinic somewhere. But the clinics were where they would tell me I had been on everything already. One psychiatrist said he would only take me on if I agreed to to straight to inpatient- and I said no. But then when I left his office, he was apparently unconcerned that I had no other psychiatrist.
Jean Grey-
That is one of the saddest stories I have ever heard. Saddest and most disgusting and infuriating. I am so thankful that I've had super doctors since I got really sick. Prior to that I saw 3 psychiatrists who were not good; one might have gotten there in the final year of grad school but he died suddenly. His predecessor tried to tell me I was manic 3 minutes after meeting me which scared me so that I refused to go back. And the other one I saw wanted to hit 8 minutes of billable time to get her 15 and that's all she cared about. GAF of 85 when I was coming home from work and climbing into bed in dirty scrubs and eating only canned ravioli for months on end, was afraid to shower (paranoia), and was often so agitated that I stayed at work talking to dementia patients for an extra 4 hours just to stay busy.
But I was just insightful enough to catch that she was making me sick just before I got so sick that I would have been hospitalized if I'd only had a doctor and mental health benefits. Then I was in the clinical trial and at the end of it I wasn't sure I'd have a doctor. Then the doctor I'd seen primarily during the study arranged to keep seeing me if I wanted/needed but he was far away and my therapist talked Dr. Brain into taking me on which was for the best because they were at the same practice 2 days per month. And then I moved to Cleveland Clinic with Dr. Brain. Even my hospitalizations are with the same dr. every time which is a HUGE blessing because when I was suicidal he knew how atypical I was acting and he got very aggressive with increasing my lithium level without making me toxic which is a fine art involving many needles.
I know always how blessed I am to have had the care I've had. But that story cements it and hopefully I"ll remember the next time I'm fed up with the whole system.
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