3rd week

I've read that the 3rd and 4th weeks post-op for this surgery can be emotionally hard.This is, I think, week 3. I really have been fine except for dealing with how I feel about my brother and seeing him and that just needs to be discussed with Dr. Mind.  Tomorrow my cast comes off and I get a new one that may be my last one (to be followed by a boot in all likeliehood; this will be on for I think 6 weeks since he said I could start weightbearing at 8 weeks if I was healing well.

Today has been harder because I've stayed flat on my back or rolled very slightly to the side with my leg elevated as high as it was the first week trying to get the swelling to come down from yesterday's time with Dr. Mind.  It was frustrating and I didn't realize how much I've liked my few hours on the couch the last few days.  I also think I've been using the milestone of 'stitches out" so had that I was glossing over the new cast.  I knew it was happening and I'm even glad because this one is getting too loose (except for the swelling that is almost gone now).

During the time I was up today (just a little bit) I tried on the 6 pairs of shoes I had ordered because my current sneakers are worn out and my good foot has terrible arch pain that will become planter fascitis if I don't replace them.  I have one shoe from before I started wearing braces that fits and doesn't hurt but it is somewhat worn out.  However the 6 pairs didn't fit comfortably, mostly because they had pointed toes and I HATE pointed toes on sneakers.  There needs to be space in these for swelling when I start walking and they just didn't fit.  So they'll go back, I think I'll try to manage with the old shoe until I am close to walking and then I'll shell out $120 for another pair of really good sneakers that will get even wear.  I was trying to avoid having one shoe pretty well worn before the other was used by getting cheaper ones but even the expensive one I bought just in case didn't work. 

So the whole day has been spent sleeping, taking a quick shower (which isn't really pleasurable when using the shower bench and worrying the seal with break on the cast protector and drench my cast or that I'll lose my balance and need help while naked, trying on shoes that I ordered from Zappos last week when I could grab a few minutes, and reading and reading online.  I had too much time to think and that is bad.  I'm nervous about the sutures coming out; they've been in for 2.5 weeks and so they'll pull more.  I know he wanted the incision to be well closed and I'm glad of that but I don't want it to hurt.  I've only had sutures removed once before and that was my knee scope and there were only 3.  I have 4 sutures just in my 2 scope holes and without being able to count last week I'm going to say 20-30 small, tight ones in the main incision.   I'm also wanting to talk to Dr. Mind again before Monday which is't possible because we're not having this discussion on the phone.

I had a point when I got on here but I have no idea what it was now.  I guess the 3rd week blues are hitting a bit.  I also got terrible sleep last night and during the day.  Sleeping on my back flat makes me snore and I wake myself up.  I have mild sleep apnea and that is probably what this really is but usually it is not a problem because I don't sleep flat. 

I think it's also hard to know that tomorrow will be a LONG day and I'll be exhausted after it.

I think the biggest thing is that I'm fully expecting to be told that I'm supposed to continue elevating.  I had hoped that this would be reduced somewhat so that I could get to go to a store or something occasionally.  Yesterday showed me that there is no way that I'm going to be keeping my leg down for an hour yet.  Which is frustrating.  Even to go to the store and use a scooter there is out because of the need to elevate.  'and I don't move quickly so it's not like I could just go from a few minutes.

This is so stupid but I'm also tired of trying to figure out how long I can wait to go to the bathroom.  If I am not careful I make too many trips and each trip means untangling the blankets that I'm encased in so that my leg but not my cast is lightly covered and my good leg is covered.  It is hard to get there with the walker.  And at night I have to also balance out whether I need more water or a blanket or another pillow or snacks or cat food from the kitchen.

And speaking of the kitchen I need a substantial snack so that I can take my ibuproferon.  I really need to remember to talk to them about the aspirin I'm taking as a blood thinner.  It is hard on my stomach and now that i only need ibuproferon for pain I can't take it as much as I'd like, meaning I take narcotics instead, becasue of my upset stomach.  I'm on Nexium twice a day so I don't know if it can be helped or if I just need to wait it out a bit but it's annoying.

Sorry.  I'll be upbeat again soon, I promise.  Today has just been the hardest day thus far, probably because I didn't have pain meds knocking me out but I was bored which made me anxious all day.