Rough

I didn't post this last night because I have to be very careful what I say. Assume you are getting a very tiny portion of a very complicated story.  But basically yesterday was geared to be hard.  I had to be 2 hours from here at 8:30 to cram a treatment in.  Then I had a followup with worker's comp people, and a day of training my new helper and driving lots to see patients.

A while back I had a caregiver of a patient who became verbally abusive to me when the caregiver disliked a clinical decision I had made, one that I made based on rules, not my own ideas.  I walked out of that place and knew I was fine because I was right.  However I was afraid of this person.  I fear people who scream for irrational reasons and knew this person would attack me verbally anytime possible.  I actually ducked under a counter to hide when in the same store once.  But yesterday during the course of getting my legs checked this caregiver was also there and made some nasty, loud comments to the entire huge waiting area.  I then proceeded to be more traumatized because I begged them to let me back to the locked area and the receptionist seemed ok but the nurse, the one who was nasty about my med list last week, didn't listen to what I'd said just told me to sit and she'd get me when she was ready.  Then when i was back she wanted to know what my problem had been. She refused to make me safe and didn't bother to listen to what i was afraid of.  I was shaking by this point and then had a confrontation with her because I broke the center's rules by seeing my ankle dr. and I had signed something acknowledging this.  You know, while in pain and shock and after being given an ace wrap to apply myself and asked to put my own restrictions in place.  I did sign, I'll admit that. However she kept saying I should have told them I planned to see the surgeon.  And then i remembered I did tell her, when it was, etc.  She told me she assumed I meant the bad ankle.  I told her i had been talking about the new injury and that I can't really help what she assumes, that this is why you aren't supposed to assume.  I was nicer than that, but I've had it with her.

They did let me out a back door and I walked through the parking garage with 911 ready to go if the caregiver was around and said one word.  I also talked to my manager and told her that I was scared by not feeling threatened.  That was because i am not so good at identifying true threats.  At this point I am changing my mind and am probably going to ask to have something documented somewhere because I can't spend my life avoiding this person and documentation helps show it's occurred when I was in a public place with nothing to do with this patient whatsoever.  I'm still going to talk to Dr. Mind before I do that.

Anyway, I got almost no sleep then worked 10 hours and now I'm about asleep whichI need more than anything. (And with the magic of antipsychotics I then fell sound asleep before hitting post.)