no, no, no (aka please pray)

rSo it's 12:30 AM.  Why is the bipolar woman with strict orders to sleep as much as possible on weekends, not to mention having had crappy sleep last night, plus the whole cyst thing awake?  It's called albuterol.  It's my best friend.  It's also not a good thing to use a lot of at night.  And tonight I had to.  My asthma is flaring.  I had a drippy nose earlier and my head hurts.  All signs that the tremendously feared first cold with asthma may have come to pass.  And on a weekend, of course, which means no Dr. Body if I need him. Somewhere I have antibiotics.  I am ashamed to say I can't find them.  It's not time to take them as if I start them I have to finish and I took enough antibiotics during whooping cough and the trying to make sure my early asthma sx weren't secondary infection period to last me for at least a whole year.  But without cold meds they are my old real defense, that and the nasal rinse bottle, if things progress. Because I've had a few hits of my inhaler (which I've used a lot today resulting in shaking, poor typing, a rapid heartbeat and some agitation') and 2 nebulizer treatments this evening I didn't even take psych meds until not long ago so that they have a chance of helping. I probably should take my PRN klonopin or valium but will wait a bit for that yet as I don't want to knock myself out totally if I'm getting sick.  Thank God tomorrow is Sunday and I can sleep.

I'm terrified to get a cold.  I know someday I will but I'm not ready.  Really, really not ready in fact.