Grounded

I am still not feeling as good as I had been.  I am having more pain, nausea, hot flashes and trouble sleeping.  I suspect a lot of this is because as the vicodin no longer makes me sleepy I instead am doing things like wandering around picking up things, walking further, and identifying the need to stop less accurately and am not listening to my mom about stopping when I should.  I talked to the dr.'s office yesterday and am kind of between needing to call back today and not.  So for now I'm not going to because I am going to see what happens for a couple days of doing nothing much.  Today I've thrown laundry to the basement and washed clothes but my mom carries it back up, and I played with my niece but I didn't ride down to meet my sister because of the resting thing.  Today was the first day my niece has been all about Aunt Jen rather than Grandma.  I love her so much.  It looks like Tuesday afternoons at least for now I'll be babysitting her at my mom's.  It's perfect as it won't exhaust me (once I'm healed of course; for now I can't really be alone with her since I can't lift her) but gives me much desired time.

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Please pray for my cousin.  She's been married a few years and apparently have been fighting infertility for a long time.  She had invitro done recently and found out today that she is not pregnant.  Her sister is due to deliver a baby any second.  There are other things that make this sadder, but just please pray that she can cope with her new niece at a time it's going to be so hard.  I can't imagine.  I remember how painful it was for me to have this new baby coming when I desperately wanted what I couldn't have.  (I also wonder what on earth is up with fertility in our family.  My mom and aunt both had difficulties and a number of miscarriages before having 5 girls in 3.5 years.  My mom did have my brother without difficulty (a teenage oops) but I was a baby that shouldn't have been possible and my sister was not likely. My aunt lost numerous babies before having her girls.  I'm the oldest cousin; I never tried to get pregnant but it looks unlikely that I would have been able to, and certainly my fertility ended early as the last 2 years a baby would have been nearly impossible, and now of course it is.  The next 2/5 had no difficulty that I know of (my sister may have taken some time to get pregnant but that's a guess from a single statement), and the youngest is the one with the horrible news today.

Last night was an adventure.  My room at my mom's is also where my niece's crib is.  It's a medium sized room but with a crib, double bed,  small bookshelf, cedar chest, rocker, most of the floor taken up by what Anne callls "the kitty potty" and a feeding area for my cats plus my stuff there's not a lot of space to change things. My bed is under a very weird skylight and if it rains exactly right it drips onto my bed.  I woke last night to a big puddle in my bed, so I shoved a towel under the sheets, a towel over the wet part and a big Tupperware (the real stuff) bowl on top.  My cat enjoyed watching drips.  I just moved to the other side of the bed and went back to sleep.  I hope it doesn't rain again until I am home (as it rains).

Michal, my goal is to respond to your email tonight or tomorrow but I am so glad that things aren't as awful and scary as they seemed and I am anxious to hear the red surprise!  I don't trust my responses since I'm drugged, tired but not sleeping and may have another period of feeling bad tonight.  Hope not, but when they say this is a real recovery process they do mean that.  Not intending to ignore anyone, I'm just not myself yet.