Whump

I have been taking a small dose of Neurontin for the last month to try to help me sleep.  I was on this at a much higher dose to treat akasthesia a couple years ago and while it did stop the akasthesia it also made me a zombie.  I would fall asleep mid-sentence.  I'd type emails that looked like this "Hi, alskdjfohyweruihwew" and send them thinking they made sense, my eyes would cross and so I couldn't drive and basically no matter how low the dose I was just not functional on it.  But the one thing it was good at was making me tired so this seemed to be a reasonable idea.  The first few days I took it I slept.  I may have even fallen asleep fairly normally.  And then it did not work.  I fought with it until I couldn't handle the fatigue and grudgingly got permission to take more of it. I started that sometime recently (this week I think) and was very frustrated as I saw 3 or 4 AM every day.  But then I noticed it does work, it's just not at all controlled.  There's no telling how many hours it takes and I don't think it really puts me to sleep but I think when sleep comes naturally it works like being caught underneath a mattress---WHUMP.  8 or 12 hours later I wake up.  So this is not ideal and not what I desperately want before I land in the hospital (ie something that puts me to sleep before I am ready to explode from the anxiety of being kept in bed with limited movement or activity when it doesn't matter, I can't sleep.)  Nonetheless I've decided WHUMP sleep is vastly preferable to no sleep.  Last night I was mostly asleep when it occurred to me that I'd left a light on in my car.  I traipsed outside in the very, very cold yet gorgeous night to fix this and it took a while because I had a switch set wrong and so I had to get the book out along with being tired and freezing.  But eventually I got it and came back in, wide awake.  I still was asleep in 15 minutes.

And, after all, someone who is going to be an aunt again soon needs her sleep, right?