Scattered

My last post when re-read seems very representative of my mood that day.  I have moved on.  I was so upset about reading some of what I did about my cat.  But later on that day I found some things to add to her food to help her stay full (and which are good for her) and since then we've slept.  In fact last night I fell asleep very early, not feeling very well, and the cats let me sleep until 7 without being fed, even though I was actually up a few times during those hours but not feeling well enough to face cat food.  And this morning?  I fed her and then was happy to hear a sound that has been rare around here in the last 6 months or so--Anna playing.  She has these certain mice that she loves to "kill" and while she kills them she makes the same noises a cat makes while ACTUALLY killing a mouse, and then she carries the "body" in for my inspection (although I'm not supposed to notice or comment).  Today we had a full round of mouse killing.  Since then she's been curled up on me purring.  So instead of being sad and questioning myself I've had confirmation from her that this is right and that she is happy with her life, and I've moved on to trying to figure out what I will do when I go away to the ocean for a week this summer and have to get someone to either very dedicatedly feed them at home or board them.  I would board them in a heartbeat except that 1)that involves loading up the other cat into a kennel, a task I hate more than dental work (which requires me to take extra sedation and makes me gag repeatedly) 2) they'd not have space to move around for a week or even 10 days.  My vet would abide by my crazy diet, but the overall situation isn't best for them.  So that means I'll be trying to find someone to care for them at home and it won't be the person who has always done it before as she did not do a good job caring for my mother's special needs cat last year.

I've worked some, slept a lot, and the rest is making me feel much better although I also have an upset stomach that I could live without. The kind of pizza I always have gotten with a lower fat content quit delivering here so I got another choice last night and I'm pretty certain their cheese is not all cheese I'm allowed, plus it was much fattier.  And now my stomach is angry.  That's ok, I'm off today and my only commitment is an appointment with Dr. Mind.  I think I need to buy cat food as well but we'll see how I feel.  That may wait and be done at work or something if I don't feel good in a few hours.

This weekend has been a good thing.  I have needed the rest so badly.  I have weeks before I have much chance to rest again becanuse next week is Dr. Brain and the week after I'm getting my birthday request of a day with my niece (my other request is that she be in a wonderful mood.  She's having a hard time with naps right now; if something is going on she doesn't want to sleep.  Then she gets fussy.  In a sweet way of course, but still fussy.)

 I also realized I made a big mistake. Not huge, not that important, just enough that I am annoyed with myself.  I timed a medical appointment wrong, which can be fixed, but I JUST turned in the request for a day off and now I'll need to move it.  To be fair I had the appointment scheduled differently and my doctor will be on maternity leave and I wasn't thinking when it was rescheduled at the next possible date (she only does 1 week of clinic work at the clinic I go to).

And I could go on and on about rest and how amazing it feels after so long without much, but I think we'll shut up now........After saying that my asthma is becoming much more controlled.  I think I'm going to use the nebulizer this morning but that probably has more to do with falling asleep without a pillowcase (or sheets) than anything else.  Even after a really rough day with it Friday I've had a much better weekend with no real wheezing in about 2 days.

Regardless although I fully expect my time with Dr. Mind to be hard I am so much better.  So very, very much better after sleep.  Thank God for paid holidays.