Because this life of mine isn't challenging enough I just got a reminder that another thing won't happen this year. Every year I have worked I have gotten special OT gifts for all assistants and usually the rehab aide if they have helped me a lot. 2 years ago I bought the stuff, got mad at my assistants and the company I was contracted to and kept it all (not mature but it felt good). Last year I was the entire OT department. In fact last year my company went to great lengths to give me a fruit bouquet. I guess I knew April was coming and that April is OT month but it wasn't something that registered. Now though it has because the company I've bought me gifts through sent me a reminder to order. And there is no money to order nor is there need, yet I should have an assistant and a job if only. And that is the feeling.........if only.
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Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13
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Please note that any patient experiences noted in this blog are heavily edited to disguise events. Similarities to real persons are coincidental.
Please also know that while I speak as a professional at times, I am not a doctor. I have strong opinions, some based on professional training and/or experience, some based on research, and some based on personal experience of my own variety of this illness. Therefore what I say is my opinion, not a fact and doctors should always be consulted.
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2 comments:
I hear you. Is it sort of like the first year of grieving a death in the family, the first Christmas, birthday, Mother's Day and so on? Grieving takes time...and sorrowing.
Sigh.
Lord, help Jen draw close to You and to know that you're just a "phone call" away. Hear her call and comfort her heart. Let her know that You are listening, endlessly patient and understanding.
I don't know why I thought of that image. Do you know the song "Operator" by Manhattan Transfer? It's upbeat, profound and has cheered me many times.
"Oh operator, information, give me Jesus on the line. (repeat)
Prayer is the number, faith is the exchange, Heaven is the place and JESUS is His name. Oh operator, information, give me Jesus on the line.
Call on His name and you will be saved.
You have a lot of mourning to do. When I dropped out of my Ph.D program, after years of holding on too long, it was the hardest thing I ever did. I couldn't talk about it for the longest time without crying. But eventually my life did move on.
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