well

I've been on a very low dose of Topamax for migraine prevention for a week now. I've been trying to get on it for nearly 2 months and have been beaten back by sedation.  Not at night when I NEED that but all day, every day.  This last week though it worked.  I had a 4 day long migraine but I did not sleep all day.  And as the week ended something amazing happened.  My mood improved and my anxiety decreased.  Topamax is a relatively weak mood stabilizer and I'm barely taking any of it so this is totally unexpected but it is doing something.  Dr. Mind said I smiled more and was in a better mood than I have been in months.  And when he says months I think he means nearly a year.  So this is great, right?

Nope.  It may not be anyway.  I already fight with constipation.  I take a daily prescription med for it and am armed with a lot of other meds to use as needed.  Since this was becoming an issue I checked in with Dr. Body.  The computer system is down for his office and so I got a phone call back from the nurse who relayed his comments.  She had called me a few months back about something and managed to confuse some things enough that I wound up in tears and this time she was not very polite which is great; one bridge burned I think although I did not complain about her; was very careful NOT to complain about her in fact.  But anyway, the message said I needed to lower (ie come off) the topamax if I needed the doses of meds I was asking about.  I am a little confused in that I've taken those doses in the past and I'm not sure that I made it clear that I wasn't taking that much now and was just asking if I could go up since I knew I'd been much higher before.  And now I can't get back to him.

I am not willing to go off this unless forced to.  I emailed Dr. Brain to see if she had feedback and explained that the mood effects have been significant enough to make stopping not feel good.  So we'll see; she may not want to interfere with Dr. Body's work.  I'm asking her though if I can use miralax instead of what I was taking.  I hope i asked that.  I meant to.  I have to check because I'm not sure I did what I meant to.  I am going to look at the drugstore to see if there is a fiber supplement I can take.  I know some of them are not allowed with diabetes insipidus because I don't have water in my body to spare.  (This is why I don't want to use Miralax; it just doesn't work well when you are chronically dehyrdrated).  Perhaps there is something though.  So here's praying that this works because so little is out there that is going to help my mood right now and if something does I really want to hang on to it.

I went to use a coupon I had hoped would help buy a microwave today after I saw Dr. Mind.  I didn't find one of those but I did get some good deals that are exciting.  I got a comforter that came with a bedskirt (that I can't use with my bed but whatever), 2 pillows, and 4 pillow shams.  Perhaps I'll feel like making my bed in my new bedroom.  (Not likely).  I also got a bath mat, shower head, and a rug for the kitchen which had been $40.  With markdowns and my coupon it was $8.  That was exciting.

I've been having a fun time the last few days.  After my hysterectomy last year a lot of my hair fell out.  I had to wait for it to grow back in and then get long enough to be evened out.  Friday I got my hair cut and finally am able to wear it down after a full year of ponytails every.single.day.  I'm grateful that my hair was long to begin with as it would have had to be cut pretty short otherwise; just to get rid of my afro-mullet from growing back in she cut probably 4 inches off, maybe more.  But everyone seems unsure how to react exactly.  I think at least Dr. Mind and probably some of my family think it's down because I'm less depressed.  That's just coincidence but it makes it so that nobody is sure if they should say anything.  So I'm walking around with a drastically different hairstyle and keep catching people looking at me like they aren't sure what the rules are.  Although my hair fell out last year it's really probably been 2 years plus since it was down much just because I was too depressed to care about taming the curls to have it down and not look like a clown.  So it was probably the last spring I worked that it was down much.

I checked my online chart with Cleveland Clinic today to see if I had a refill for one of my meds available.  While I was in there I checked on my neurology appointment.  That is going to be a long day.  My appointment is scheduled to be 80 minutes long.  That's a long appointment.  I read my doctor's biography which I had only glanced at since Dr. Brain recommended her and it turns out she is a physical therapist.  I hope that makes it easier.  Going to anything related to a pain clinic is hard for me.  Going when I haven't tried anything close to well all but one migraine med and one muscle relaxer to treat migraines (and vicodin) feels really weird since most people will have been on everything by the time they reach this clinic and I just can't take the meds that quite possibly would work if I weren't on an MAOI (and probably other meds but the MAOI is the one I know is an issue).  On the plus side I've been on dietary restrictions before I was having more than 2 migraines per year and have been on even stricter ones than most people try for 3 months so at least I've done something.  Family meals around here are ridiculous now between my MAOI diet plus no nitrates/MSG/try to avoid preservatives/no chocolate/no caffeine/no artificial sweeteners and my sisters' family is vegetarian.  That limits greatly the things my mom is familiar with preparing.  Even when we find something we have to set aside some for me before final ingredients (aka cheese) are added as we discovered last night.  Cooking for me has become a game of "ask before adding ANYTHING" which is fun for all.  But it beats a several day migraine because I ate something I shouldn't.

This is one long post.  There is so much happening right now.....I didn't even talk about the house progress.  I think tomorrow we're going to buy flooring and ceiling fans as both will be needed soon.  By the time we get home there should be siding.