Waste of time

I am writing this from an extremely grouchy place.  I got a migraine on migraine assessment day.  Unfortunately it was a very bad one and they kept shining lights in my eye.  Then I stupidly thought I could drive home before it got worse and that didn't happen.  It's still annoying me but doesn't seem to be getting worse.

I got good news, I thought.  I can take a couple of triptans to stop the migraines as long as Dr. Brain approves.  Unfortunately they didn't take the time to see if patient assistance would cover them and if I am eligible.  One company covers it but I'm just over the line.  The other company I'm eligible for assistance but the triptan isn't offered.  The one I was prescribed is $400 for a month's supply.  With a discount.  The other one is just as expensive.  So they sent me home with nothing useful except 2 free pills.Yippee.  That probably won't get me through the next 3 months until I have insurance.  Not trying these means that I will presumably not be eligible for Botox when I go back, because I think I have to have failed on these.  And perhaps in 3 months when I can actually try them they'll work. 

Three months is just so long.  I waited 4 months for this appointment and fought the migraines for months before that..  And essentially all it did was get me a diagnosis of migraines and a list of supplements Dr. Brain might let me try.  And one of the worst migraines I've ever had, of course.

I am so discouraged right now.  I don't know what I thought would happen really.  I was under the impression from my doctors that I would probably go to botox now because I couldn't take triptans.  But there are 2 I can take, which is great.  I won't be able to afford the co-pay on botox either.  I was hoping that I would get to try that while on patient assistance.  The dr. laughed and said that wasn't a charity care option because it is expensive.  I think she's wrong; it says any medically necessary treatment is covered. I honestly didn't like that comment much as it felt a bit like "oh, you're poor...well, that costs too much for the likes of you, too bad if it would work".  But I was so tired and in so much pain I can't really judge.

I am just so tired of having a throbbing head and I'm furious that I can't treat it because I am uninsured and not independently wealthy.  I have 20 migraines or more per month so the 10 treatments per month was going to not cover a lot.  With being able to afford maybe 2 pills per month (at more than I pay for any other 90 day supply of medication) and that would be a stretch this is pointless.

And so I wasted a day (it feels like that tonight anyway) and I'm still left not treating most migraines and knocking myself out with vicodin if I do "treat'.

Maybe if I just ignore it the migraines will go away.