Maybe a little angry

There is some stuff going on outside my own life (but potentially deeply affecting me) that has added to the stress I already am feeling about my brother and moving and my surgery in 6 weeks (and vacation in just a few weeks; it is going to be kind of difficult without my brother).  Yesterday I snapped just a bit.....

I had gone to Kohl's to return some things and pick up replacements in colors/sizes that made sense and had a very bad time finding anything that I wanted.  I just wanted plain t-shirts but they had only 2 colors in my size, one of which was white (I'm too clumsy) and one of which I already owned but bought anyway.  Then I had to limp up to the front to the kiosk so I could order more, then limp back to look for a few other things, none of which I found.  So I wasn't in the best mood when I went to check out.  While I was waiting a new register was opened and the woman said "next in line, please".  While I gathered up my stuff and limped over an older woman jumped ahead of me.  I ran totally out of patience for the day and told her she was NOT next in line.  She came back with some line about "just being efficient".  The words popped out of my mouth and I said "well, I'm sorry about limping.  It slows me down." and then turned my back.  I know it was rude and unnecessary and ridiculous and not even like me to do that but I just had hit way too much stress.  I have a feeling those moments will come from time to time now....

Today though was good.  I was wakened by a call from my orthopedist's nurse. When I talked to her last week I had told her that I had a nodule on my achilles that I showed the resident but not the dr and that I wanted it to come off if possible because it really hurts.  She told me I had to make another appointment so I did, for today.  When she called today and I explained this she told me that I didn't have to drive so far for just that, that the dr had examined the ankle and she'd talk to him and call me after clinic hours were over.  (She's come across as a little flaky several times now, this being one of the bigger examples, while very nice).  So I'm waiting for that call and praying that this isn't translated into something that makes the surgeon not want to do anything because the stupid thing hurts more than anything else unless I've acutely injured something else (which is most of the time now).  I don't even know if surgery is possible but if it is I want this thing off and I do not want to go back to surgery in a year to do it.  I am praying that my not being there to present the facts that way doesn't mean that I don't get this thing taken care of.  Originally she said I'd have to come today to sign a surgical consent.  So either she decided I won't be having that operated on or she decided I can sign consent another time.  I guess I'll find out in a few hours.  It's making me anxious and I don't want to take any medication and fall asleep before she calls.  I am so cold that I could easily drift off.  It's very cold and rainy and damp here today and nothing I do gets me warm. 

Anyway, don't cross me this week and I'll share the results of my conversation with her later.