5 days and grouchy

My head has now been hurting for 5 days.  Today I couldn't see the doctor because he only was in until noon.  I didn't guess even close to how much tylenol to have out so I looked up most of what I bought (plus a huge bottle I had before and now I had to buy  more).  The only time it stops is when klonopin and tylenol work at the time.

And in the spirit of grouchiness, I bought a book on my Nook that I hoped would help me understand more about carrying babies to term since I make the hats and like to know what prayers make sense.  Instead I'm annoyed because the book is really a whole thing about why you shouldn't terminate the pregnancy if that if your choice, complete with rather unnecessarily detailed descriptions of the various procedures.  I have a weird, uncertain feeling about abortion, but I also think that if I buy a book about the experiences of carrying to term I should not be dreading the remaining 300 pages because they aren't going to help me.

I love that kids play loudly and late on weekend nights on my street.  I wish though for the sake of the headache they'd go to bed.  I swear if this is still happening Monday and I can't see the dr. I am going to just go sit in the waiting room and refuse to leave.  If I could just get him to know what is happening he'd get me in.  I don't get 5 day headaches and I probably need lithium drawn although Dr.Brain wasn't worried (although she was confused after missing an email).  I can go to urgent care but if I want the one where I am on financial assist I have 2 hours of driving and then it could easily be a "take something I can't have, bye-bye" experience.

Oh, and I've been meaning to answer Jean Great about EMDR.  It came up.  It may happen.  It's not ideal at this time.  My therapist isn't trained and I'd have to see another one.  We'd divide so I'd have 2 sessions per week with 2 therapists probably.  But the thing is that my therapist cut his own profit to help me pay and I can't afford to pay for sessions for the real cost which the EMDR person would likely need.  I also haven't heard from my contingency of therapists that anyone feels completely confident it would work for the multiple layer trauma I'm trying to deal with.  I also don't know if the eye movements would work because I have strabismus and not only do not control one eye (because it became lazy from not being treated) but it feels odd when that eye goes off on it's on and it makes me laugh.  I also do not like people to be very close to me while treating me; after 6.5 years Dr. Mind can sit 6 or 7 feet away.  Usually.  This thing that we're doing is well suited to both me and the trauma I experienced, we just have to figure out some modifications.

Anyway, the intersections of klonopin and tylenol may occur soon and I need to be ready to try to sleep when it does.  If it does.



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