5 more months (aka you all get to pester me)

Since almost nothing is sacred on this blog I shared yesterday that my first period not related to the Mirena (hormone producing, period calming, although not entirely effective for me and apparently a source of mood issues until removal a month ago) was not quite what I'd hoped for.  There was a chance that the D&C I had last year would have a more permanent effect.  It did not.  I had forgotten what the blood bath was like.  I just had to pour peroxide on my shirt because I somehow bloodied it (peroxide used immediately and preferably kept wet until washing removes nearly any blood stain ( healthcare tip I got when donating blood the needle person (can't spell it) went a wee bit too far and hit an artery, drenching me and the ceiling with blood before removing the needle, keeping me supine with a very tight pressure dressing and warning that "this is going to bruise badly").  I don't remember.  I do remember the excitement of getting blood out of my white dolphin shirt easily.

Without being gross let's just say that things are ugly.  I've been too uncomfortable to move around too much which is partly because Ohio is cooking people and my lawn this week.  Mostly though it's that I'm hurting.  It's the same as a year ago, like someone is stabbing my right ovary.  It is helpful to not have to be in the car which always was more painful last year.  If things don't change next month I am going to be on my way back to the anemia that made me feel absolutely horrid for much of last summer.  With the Mirena my hemoglobin had actually been well within normal.  I wanted to kill myself, but I wasn't anemic.

I am supposed to wait 6 cycles before going back to the dr. and that is scheduled.  If 3 pass and are like this I'm going to call in and probably see her sooner.  The worst she can do is say she needs the other 3 cycles and the other would be that we accept the hysterectomy and get it over with, reducing my anxiety issues dramatically.  Dr. Brain will certainly send her an update whenever I see her again so that may help my cause.  I'm fairly sure when surgery is agreed upon and patient assistance approves it that even then there will be some waiting time for anesthesia and psychiatry to agree that I'm not safe to be off the MAOI and need that protocol again.  I suspect there will also be some meeting of scarily intelligent minds regarding prevention of what happened last time I had surgery.  My mom is terrified and I think wants to say I just just keep trying to handle this but it's not realistic that I'm going to have my life be this controlled by menstration for another 10 years or so.  This has to stop.  It's too bad the Mirena didn't.  I really hoped that since I had screwy periods with it that those would continue and not this.  As it is I've not been comfortable to sit in an upright enough position to knit much today.  That counts as a bad day although I did get a lot of reading done.

In other news Anna is eating more and more.  Thank God.  No more puking for several days, also thank God.

Hope everyone is having a better week than this.


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