no title in my head

Well, the jerk didn't decide to come back.  This is good, although I could use someone to yell at today.  It feels like I've spent half the day on the phone.  Something I ordered from Kohls on Black Friday got lost at their warehouse.  I learned a valuable lesson; they won't off things but if you ask you'll get them.  I got a new one shipped out with priority airmail delivery at the Black Friday price and no shipping cost.  I was on the phone 35 minutes to do that, but it's worth it.

I haven't heard about the 2nd opinion.  I have no idea when to expect to hear something.  I am hoping that stopping the Latuda tonight will stop some of the symptoms.  If not by Thursday I guess I try to find out from Dr. Brain because if he's not able to see me (and this is a very busy time for psychiatrists) then I'm going to make a case for admitting me.  If nothing is changing from today I don't know if I can make it through Christmas without being admitted.  I've said this a lot of times though and been wrong.  However at this point I need a psychiatrist and the thing that usually keeps me out of the hospital is Dr. Brain and she can't do that.

I spent time on the phone with the ombudsman about my recent stay.  I heard both doctor's responses; both defended themselves on minor points and ignored the major complaints.  I heard things like "anxiety meds are not good with encephalopathy".  I had encephalopathy?  Nobody mentioned that.  Nor did anyone mention that anxiety meds weren't good for me; I would have sucked it up then.  I declined filing a formal complaint because I can't imagine that any complaint from someone with a diagnosis of confusion is going to win against a head of a department.   Mostly the psychiatrist made everything out to be my fault.  He did admit to walking out while I was talking and attributed that to being busy.  But um, "ok, I understand your concerns.  I need to ask you some questions then we'll fix those concerns.  I have limited time today", although even that would be pretty crappy given how long doctors spent with my roommate.

The drawings are helping some.  I forgot that I like art therapy.  I think I have enough to keep us busy for 2 sessions though.I think we have 2 sessions worth on "I feel so guilty because everyone keeps trying to help and I am failing".

That's about it for today unless Dr. Brain gets in touch.