Dr. Mind has prayed several times for me to have the tools I need to do this.
I inherited my grandma's diaries. They are my grandma's edited version of truth, but they do help me find out things like I was 8 months old when the molestation began, nearly certainly.
Here's the thing. At one time diaries from every year from 1930-1980something existed. By the time I inherited the diaries I had 1930-33, then nothing until the 60s when my father and his brothers were adults. There were some other missing ones.
I just went looking for 1978/1979. First I found a notebook of jotted wisdom I've never seen before, then a handwritten recipe book. Then I found the 1945 diary. I don't know how to say that I have not had this diary before. I've read them all. This diary has miraculously appeared and I am praying it will have answers. Then 1979 appeared and I don't think I had it before either.
I don't know what to say but God. (And that the dr. made my grandma quit nursing because my uncle was gaining weight too fast on breastmilk. Crazy).
Copyright 2006 www.masterofirony.blogspot.com
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1 comment:
My computer is being slower than the usual slow and I have to meet someone so I will be brief.
Are the diaries helping you to piece together your own history and it's interesting to read information about your father/uncle's upbringing? How did you learn about your 8 month old history? Sounds heavy. How is it that diaries are mysteriously appearing? Do you have them at your home?
I am so thrilled that you received "fan mail" from Selah in response to your own fan mail. God is giving you encouragement, for sure.
Hey, maybe you should write a thank you to the angry father. It surely triggered a release of emotion in you, which "is what it is." You "needed" this, as rotten as it is to endure. May the flood of tears wash some of the junk out and leave God's peace in its place.
Blessings, Jen.
Michal
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