I know it's been forever. It's been just too much to write with the paranoia, the agitation, the hallucinations, the sleeplessness.......I was in a very, very scary place for a while. It was so bad that Dr. Mind told me I should go to see Dr Brain prepared to be admitted. He has been really worried about admissions and that's come up a lot the last while.
Last week I started a new med. It is actually a very old anti-psychotic. Almost nobody uses it anymore and it's hard to find anything about it on the internet. Most of what is out there just says the same thing that is written about all old antipsychotics. But occasionally you find that this one is a little different in that it turns into a kind of antidepressant (but not something exactly accepted as an antidepressant) on the way out so it has an antidepressant effect and Dr. Brain felt I needed that. I was scared of it because old antipsychotics can be really scary and this one that nobody uses seemed especially scary but I am actually loving this med. It's improved my sleep (I need a dose increase and sleep will be much better), it has stopped the psychosis as far as I can tell (nothing for several days but I've not been out of the house much), and I've lost 3 lbs in a week because it takes away my appetite. I'm on 10 mg and you can go up to 250 so it also has a ton of room to grow.
So the risk of hospitalization is down to low again barring some weird problem and I'm feeling so much better than a week ago that I don't have words to describe it.
I still plan to take most entries on here down but I'm not really at the place where sitting and doing that sounds like fun. I am going to keep some posts up and leave posts about loxapine up because I'd like to help someone else looking for anything about this drug besides the same generic profile.
So that's my story.