Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Apology and theft

WinnyNinnyPoo I very much misunderstood you the other day and was harsher than I meant to be.  I also didn't absorb you were having your own troubles.  I'm very sorry for that.  I had been out to see Dr. Mind and was very sore and swollen and had taken a pain pill.  I didn't think they had much effect on thought now but obviously they do.

I am still at my mom's.  I know I keep saying this but I never remember where or who I've said it to and it is important in the context here.  She had people scheduled to lay flooring on Monday.  They called just before we got home from Dr. Mind and said they weren't finished, could they come Tuesday.  She said yes, assuming it would only be a few hours. They only sent one person and he asked me in the early afternoon if he could come again today.  He had not expected to be alone and had a meeting at 2:30.  Frankly I no longer believe him on that part.  You'll see why. He took off fast, even leaving a whole box of flooring on the deck. Today he was back with another guy.  They finished.  I made them close the dog gate (can't chase dogs nor use a leash) and they left.

Because my mom is helping with meds my vicodin is on the kitchen counter.  Not in full view, but not hidden.  (Well, it was).  Both my mom (yesterday) and I (today) had told them I was recovering from surgery and would be resting upstairs and please call my cell if they needed anything.  Instead they yelled up and woke me, which was great but whatever.

I got really sore on Monday in one place and it never has calmed down.  Yesterday I moved somehow and felt a weird "that's going to hurt" thing.  I've been careful since then to stay in the positions that feel best but still am sore.  I stood for a while to chop vegetables for supper and that seemed to increase it. 

Monday night I counted the vicodin pills I had left.  4 in my purse, 20 in the bottle.  My mom and I talked about this being a good amount now that I only need it occasionally.  I haven't taken any since.  It looked less full this evening and I counted before taking a half.  Half of my pills were gone.  I can't do anything as I can't prove that they stole it.  But one of the 2 did, and I suspect the one who was here alone yesterday.

I will need meds sometimes for a while yet.  I am positive when I have a 12 hour car ride to vacation and then back next month vicodin will be involved.  This takes time to heal and I'm not there yet.  People often assume that if you're bipolar you abuse meds.  It's fair, there's a high rate of drug abuse with the diagnosis.  The expensive drug tests could be done without but I understand.   Dr. Sweetheart would not mind giving me more and would believe me about the theft.  However I don't reach her, I get the gyn nurses who cover  for all gyn. at Cleveland Clinic and they don't know me at all.  Which means that 1/4 of my total script being stolen is not necessarily going to sound good.  I asked Dr. Body for a script as I know he'll know I'm not abusing pain pills.

I feel violated.  As Becky pointed out privately I am very fortunate in that my mother and I made bad decisions in leaving a sleepy, sore, weak, recovering me sleeping with 2 strange men in the house.  It truly was a bad idea.  Much worse could have happened than theft.  But that doesn't change one bit how extremely angry I am.  

Learn from me:  I told patients frequently to keep meds in places others couldn't see.  Better safe than sorry.  Then I did what I told them and it backfired bigtime.

I don't think that company will be getting business again from this house.


Jean Grey said...

That is really awful! That is so hard to believe it happened.

I can sympathize with your limited pain med options right now. I am back on lithium, and can't take my normal naproxon that I took semi-regularly. Aspirin and tylenol just don't work as well, although one doctor told me I could take both at once which does seem to work a lot better when I'm desperate.

Michal Ann said...

Jen, I'm so sorry about what happened. I trust you're safe and will be able to get the medication you need. Just a random thought: are you consuming enough water? I'm so glad you're able to rest from time to time. May your heart be at rest, too.

I think today's "God Calling" is very encouraging. It's given me something to meditate upon, learning the right context in which to "cry in distress." I pray this lightens your load a little.

p.s. I won't be able to write for several days but I will keep you in prayer.

God Calling - October 11
- Shame and Distress -

I will bless the Lord at all times: His praise shall continually be in my mouth. I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. They looked unto Him, and were lightened: and their faces were not ashamed.
-- Psalm 34:1,4,5.

See, My children, that even in distress, the first step is Praise. Before you cry in your distress, bless the Lord; even when troubles seem to overwhelm you.

That is My Divine order of approach. Observe this always. In the greatest distress, search until you find cause for thankfulness. Then bless and thank.

You have thus established a line of communication between yourself and Me. Along that line to let your cry of distress follow.

Thus you will find I do My part, and deliverance will be sure. Oh! The gladness of heart. Lightened you will be, the burden rolled away, as the result of looking to Me.

The shame and distress will be lifted too. That is always the second step. First right with Me, and then you will be righted too in the eyes of men.

So will I compass thine altar, O Lord: that I may publish with the voice of thanksgiving, and tell of all Thy wondrous works.

-- Psalm 26:6,7