Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Please, please pray

I have gotten up from partially asleep because this suddenly feels like I absolutely need to post it.  In short Dr. Brain is still working on finding a way to keep me from changing meds.  I don't know that there is much change based on my conversations with them, but she is very good at persuasive.  My instincts are telling me to prepare for the change and be glad if I avoid it.  Once it starts it will be pretty fast, just 2 weeks or so of tapering.  That's good because it will hopefully keep me from feeling as bad as I did the last time I went off an antidepressant to go onto this one. 

I am anxious about numerous things but one stands out more than the others.  Last time my roommate was sexually inappropriate with her boyfriend on 2 nights.  On both nights I told people who promised room changes and then the next shift said no.  Dr. Brain happened to be my dr. one of those nights so she tried to fix it as well.  From the first night I stresed I have PTSD and this was triggering it.  That nurse was quite upset about it but somehow nothing happened.

I am terrified of having a roommate.  There's nothing anyone can do about it.  There's a couple private rooms but I have in theory a 1:10 chance of getting one and in reality less because they reserve them for people getting ECT (I think).  I need to be alone, whether that means private room or not getting a roommate.  We've disccuseed last year's incident in counseling many times and Dr. Mind simply says it triggered PTSD badly.  Dr. Brain knows but can't do anything and she was pretty firm about that.

I should know in a few days I think.  For now please pray that I don't have to do the roommate thing.  I know that I've had other roommates that were fine but the last one really left a bad impression.  Nice girl, disgusting behavior.


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