Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Wednesday, April 03, 2013

Prescription: Tears

Dr. Mind was off for a week.  I think I needed the break, even though it really wasn't one since I saw him on Saturday and then 9 days later instead of 7.  But we haven't had many breaks in the last year.  With my at-risk status if he's gone I see someone else to be sure I'm safe or we manipulate things like we did this time.

Regardless I have been feeling a bit better.  Sunshine has helped a great deal I think.  I even got a psyhotropic induced sunburn over the weekend.  But something else has helped:  crying.  Crying is usually really difficult for me.  I cry in Dr. Mind's office and usually that's it.  Lately that's meant sobbing for an hour with him, crying in my car for a while longer, and then waiting a week.  While he was off I watched a movie that made me cry.  I felt compelled to watch it again the next night and the next.  Several nights of watching and sobbing made me feel better.  So for now I'm actually trying to cry every day by watching the few movies that have that effect.

It's not really the standard treatment for depression but it is working.  Now it just has to keep working.

I should add that I'm packing my home up now and that makes tears a little easier to come by.  It's amazing how quickly things seem missing when there is still so much to pack.  But I am making progress and handling it well enough.   That's not to say that I don't cry when I think of it, but at least packing makes me feel in control a little.  I'm also working on finding cabinets flooring, paints, bathroom choices, etc. and since my new home is only 500 square feet that's kind of a challenge.  I need things to be as open as possible and the color selections matter.  That's particularly true since my bedroom is going to be an attempt to help me sleep and will be pretty dark in color to keep things as dark as possible.  The rest of it needs to be contrasting to that darkness.

Anyway, that's what is up here.  Sanctioned crying and packing, one box at a time.

No comments: