I also found a place today where someone had apparently written something not complimentary about my blog but had deleted the content and left the title. I wish I knew what it said at the same time I'm glad I don't.
So about 11:45 last night I was writing an email and suddenly was having trouble typing. I realized my head was kind of spinning too. Then I realized this is what medicated sleep feels like. I closed my eyes and slept BEFORE midnight. It was a decent night of sleep although I woke up frequently. Still, I'd forgotten what it felt like to have a sleeping medication work. It used to be routine; I'd take meds, 2 hours later I'd feel very drowsy and I'd sleep all night. It's been so long since that happened. I'm hoping to repeat although I'm not sure it is since I took my meds 3 hours ago and am still awake. Regardless, perhaps this will help me sleep without waiting until nearly time to wake up to get there.
Yesterday I learned that there are several anti-psychotics that are likely to be out relatively soon. Relatively means "a long time if you're waiting for them" but after 2 years of waiting another 2 years isn't THAT long. I guess. Dr. Brain is trying to find out about one that sounds like it may be coming before too much longer. The only other new med is an antidepressant that I can't have because it has caused rage issues, not ideal in the bipolar and suicidal group.Because I need sleep and there is just not much harm in trying things that aren't likely to do much for my mood we bumped up my Neurontin dose again and will head for a therapeutic level if I can tolerate it. In the past I did not but the circumstances might have played a role there.