Oh.

Dr. Mind has said several times he thinks I have a variation of OCD.  Today we were discussing how severe my anxiety has been and I said something about he had no idea, he hadn't heart the ice cubes story.  I then explained that I have been unable to put any more or less than 4 ice cubes in each of a million glasses of water. He laughed but he said I do that.  I had never seen the OCD THAT clearly; I thought before he meant more in my thinking patterns.

I was also good today.  I have never mentioned this but there's a man at work who touches me.  Not like pat your wrist or hey, you're back, here's a hug (which would still be inappropriate), but mostly my hair.  It's really curly as I've said before and I know some people find curly hair fun.  I, on the other hand, hate being touched on my head or neck, particularly when I don't even see you coming.  I have a tendency to react to being touched when it scares me and surprises me by hitting.  I don't think I can confront him.  I'm still thinking but I feel like I'd have to wait for next time and that could be when I hit. I really don't want to do that.  It's such an instinct for me that I smacked a patient's hand once.  He had compulsive issues and would grab women's butts.  He snuck up behind me and my immediate reaction was to smack.  He was fine, ti's not like I hit him hard and I immediately told a supervisor etc and it was judged a reflex, but still, not my favorite moment.  Consequently I think I'm going to talk to my supervisor and see if we can handle this not as a harassment claim-which I could and I suppose they could follow up but it's without proof and I don't want problems--but I will even confront him with support.  I don't mind telling people I startle very easily (although he knows by now) and don't appreciate touching.  For now I'm no longer wearing pony tails.  My hair needs cut so badly but without ponytails it is harder to reach when I'm seated.

Today's big news is that I know what I am getting everyone for Christmas.  I like to be done shopping by now so knowing is such a relief.