I Did It

I have made it through one work day. Two more and this week is over. I'm exhausted and overwhelmed, but I knew those things would happen.

It was weird being back; everyone (staff) was very understated about it, which I appreciated. I'm assuming this means that it's an unspoken awareness among the professional staff that I was dealing with some form of serious mental illness, which wouldn't have been hard to figure out the last weeks I worked. As long as it stays respectful I'm happy. I may wind up telling someone in another place I work that I had lithium toxicity, and see what happens.

It was hard to see how much has changed and how much stayed the same. One of the patients who I really enjoyed died recently and it's not quite the same without him. It never is after a death. There has been lots of room shuffling which is confusing. My paperwork has become bizarrely different and I hate it.

But it felt like I was doing something worthwhile for the first time in so long. And I felt like I was purposeful, again something I've been missing.

And tomorrow is another day....