As I've been describing, I'm facing the end of the line with medications. I'm currently re-trying meds that I've not tolerated before, trying anything that might work before I have to jump off the cliff into the last few antipsychotics. Antipsychotics have never been a good experience for me, and I just don't want to try more of them.
I'm pretty sure that I'm ready to start talking about alternatives. The intention all along as been that if/when I can be stable long enough I will get a vagal nerve stimulator. The thing is that nothing makes me anything like stable anymore, making that a dream. And even then it's a dream with at best a 33% chance of success.
I'm pretty sure that when I see my doctor next I'm going to talk to her about ECT. I've seen someone do very well with ECT as a maintenance treatment, and I am willing to try. I'm so tired of meds not working for me. There are issues that would be decisive, and my doctor has never mentioned this as a possibility so for all I know it may not even be appropriate, but from what I've read I suspect I'm a good candidate. The biggest issue would be the risk of memory loss, I'm trusting my doctor on that part now.
I believe my doctor also does rTMS, but I don't know much about it and haven't seen much to make me think it's a likely treatment for me.
I'd be very interested in anyone who has had any of these treatments sharing their experiences, either in the comments or via my email.
Still can't believe I'm even thinking about this. What's more, I think I could be excited about it if it held hope. Strange.