I seem to be at war with myself yet again. I'm so very tired and can cry at anything, and I am extremely anxious, relying on a lot more ativan than usual. The experiment with low-dose lithium showed that it does help some. I'm not cycling as heavily as before. Instead I'm pretty much just very depressed. Unfortunately increasing the dose isn't an option.
So I'm moving on and starting Lamictal. I have been on this before, but stopped because we thought it was causing vomiting. Since we know now that I had the lithium problem with vomiting I wanted to give this one last shot.
Lamictal is associated with a rash that can actually kill you, so it has to be started unbelievably slowly. It will be 5 weeks before I'm at a bare minimum dose. I just hope that if it is going to make me vomit that it does so very quickly so I can move on.
Here goes nothing. I'm not feeling like talking about a lot of what I'm feeling, so I may not write too frequently for a while. But who knows how that goes.