Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Two days down...

I am struggling this week. I'm exhausted, even though I slept all weekend. I hate summer because it does this. I think it's also my meds. For the last 6 months there's been a pattern: I take them, I'm fine for a while, I cycle a tiny bit (not enough to matter, just enough for my body to change), I get this exhausted, I get mad and decrease my depakote and voila! I feel better. My doctor already agreed to get me off Depakote if I can. I emailed her a while ago to tell her I'm coming down another pill, so there. Thankfully she'll be ok with that.

I'm covering for another therapist another almost hour from home. So I returned home 14 hours after I left after driving something like 200 miles. Plus getting really, really lost. I hope there's no more admissions at that building this week. It's probably a pipe dream. I thought when I agreed to this that I was doing it last week, which would give me a full weekend to get over it. Instead it was THIS week (I think it changed) and I have to go to the psychiatrist this weekend. Which doesn't give me much recovery time. And I got home too late to take meds or to really unwind.

On the other hand, which I keep returning to, we just got new health insurance that appears too good to be true. I don't know how they did this, but I'm going to save huge amounts of money, I think. (I'll believe it when I see it). I even get some psychologist visits. Those 10 visits alone save me $450. I've been going to this counseling center 7 years. I have NEVER had a single visit that was just a co-pay. And when I have had visits covered, they covered only a tiny amount and I had to pay a huge deductible first. So, I am THRILLEd about that. The only thing that would make it better would be if my nephrologist wasn't on the plan and I had that reason to give for refusing to see him anymore. Hmmm.....

Anyway, probably time to go try to sleep. If I can. I have an obsessive-compulsive component to my issues and right now it's in full force. I brought home some fruit that apparently brought every fruit fly in the state with it. I keep killing and killing and taking out trash and they keep appearing. I am now on a mission.

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