We agreed I could try benadryl for sleep since it is a relative of the med my body wants to hold on to. We knew with some caution as it was used to attempt to calm my severe agitation in the hospital last year with akathesia and on the 2nd day it turned against me and further agitated me to the point I was on 1:1 just to stay on an activity. The first night it did nothing. The pill broke and maybe that had something to do with it. Last night I took it and was agitated for many hours. I finally got to sleep at 10:30 but I've been anxious all day and now it's 4 AM and I'm still anxious and not sleeping.
It's just such a mess. From what I've read there is one of the 3 choices that is closest to what I use now. The problem is that it is expensive and I don't qualify for assistance. The 2nd choice I do qualify for assistance and the 3rd one is cheap (ish). But the 2nd and 3rd have warnings that people with headaches shouldn't take it. I am hoping that my 3.5 years of being on an MAOI plus medical competency plus promising all kinds of monitoring will let me get around that, especially since we know these headaches started with increased hormonal changes. And in a controlled situation they are likely to try at least. But I don't know what happens if these fail or my migraines are too much to be allowed to try. I don't have other choices. So I could be facing a really miserable year. I don't think that will happen without a fight but there are just few options.
So I'm anxious and the benadryl feeling isn't wearing off. I'm assuming it's caused mania that I just have to wait out. Mania and anxiety are a bad combination.
I have all this stuff I need to get done that freaks me out too. I have to go to the DMV, I have 2 stops before I see Dr. Mind Monday, I have to get a new social security card which I think has to be done some distance from here. I have to return some jeans to Walmart. Etc.
Essentially I am EXTREMELY stressed and it has kind of paralyzed me. That's unusual for me but I am truly overwhelmed. Back to reading. Soon I'm going to have to sleep on the couch. I hate sleeping on the couch.
A very grumpy Jen