Not sure what this means but who cares

I dutifully took ambien last night.  And I woke up many, many hours later feeling I haven't slept soundly in months.  There's no way to know if I have because I'm on so much other sedating meds (and since the hospital even more than usual) that I don't know when I woke up in the night much of the time.  In the hospital I was taking ambien and sleeping fairly soundly once I was sleeping but even though I don't remember waking during the times they checked on me I probably at least did some because I am not a trusting sleeper.Regardless I'm hoping that these nights of using this med I hate will let me feel rested, something I didn't realize I wasn't.  There has just been so much anxiety that it didn't sink in that I was TIRED.

Soon, after tonight's meds start to work I will take ambien again.  I'm hoping to wake tomorrow again feeling like life has value.

(not to give the hated ambien much credit; this could aslso be because of being on less neurontin.  I just took the last dose of that.  Regardless, I am fairly sure that rest is the main thing I need so just so it continues.)