Two Things

One, today I feel much, much better. I'm taking charge of parts of my life I haven't been in control of for a long time and it feels good. The story will be breaking very soon I believe.

Two, I'm interested in some feedback. I know that some of you have various mental illnesses. I know because it is logical that most people are going to feel a fairly strong sense that their illness is at the worse ends. After all, they are suffering and this is as bad as it is for them.

It seems like people tend to want to express that to one or the other extreme. Either they want to hide how bad it is, or they want to vocalize how bad it is. Once I had a patient "confide" in me that she had had hallucinations. Given her medical history I knew this, and we talked about how common hallucinations are where she lives and in a way even in general. She very poigantly asked if I had had them; I was honest and said no, although it made me think a lot. After this spring when I did hallucinate thanks to a medication I'm not sure what I would say. I, on the other hand, have no problem talking about a great deal of it, although when it comes to admitting my limitations I have some failings.

But one thing I do which is bad is that I am so used to how I have taught myself to cope with my mood swings (and panic attacks and anxiety and sleep disorders) that I often think things like "that is JUST depression", and then I am frustrated when someone complains of struggling with depression. I never mean it to be demeaning, because before mood stabilizers I spent plenty of time absolutely paralyzed by depression, and I know that now the only reason I don't is my medication. However, I also know that I have one of the worst forms of bipolar and I'm still managing. Not well at times, but managing. But that tendency to compare and think "you have no idea what a real psychiatric problem is" still lingers. I'm even more ashamed of this because if only you could see how well I am compared to my sickest patients...

But anyway, does anyone else do this "you must pass the mental illness iniation" to get the right to complain without eyerolling thing? Or am I just mean?