Still doing so well

More good stuff. I probably sound like I've sort of become Pollyanna (well, except for yesterday), but so much of this feeling good stuff just needs to be celebrated. Things that I know are small are so important to me because I have missed out. Just a year ago I was absolutely miserable. Ok, just 2 months ago I was miserable.

The big thing today is that I have officially finished my Christmas shopping. Pretty much, anyway. I need to pick up a gift card or two and some pet toys. Wrapping is another story, but this gives me a lot of room for that. Wrapping can be sort of difficult because of the noise of the wrapping paper. It also is frustrating because my hands shake from meds and so I'm not as neat as I'd like. In recent years I've had to have help to put on bows, which used to be my favorite part. But it will happen. I was so proud of myself because I went to the mall yesterday. I was there around 2 hours and I did fine. I got overstimulated in the food court, but mostly I was ok. I even went to 2 stores I didn't plan on because I felt ok. I may even go back one evening this week because I found a sweater I really like and may have talked myself into buying it. I know it's an odd time to buy clothes for myself, but I need them badly. My wardrobe sadly reflects my inability to be in a mall at all for over a year as well as my hatred of shopping in general, and the fact that generally I wear scrubs. I think I have 2 sweaters. It may be wise to have a few more. Plus I have money to buy clothes for the first time in a very long time. LOVE this new job and the benefits....

The other really cool thing is that sometime this week I'll hit the point where I've been back to work longer than I was off. Since those months felt eternal and most of the last 7 weeks have flown by I am amazed this has come already. Maybe now I can start to trust that disability isn't lurking. I know it can occur again, and quite likely will, but this time is over.

I found a note I'd written in October documenting for my boss a number of things the seriously bad assistant had done that I was upset about. Over a 2 day period I had aquired a 2 page list of valid complaints. No wonder I was so miserable.

Now, there are certainly things I don't like about work. But for the most part, this job is 85% better than the last one. The worst thing is that I am still just too tired to do much besides work, but I think I am going to ask the doctor about trying to reduce my sedation a little more for the time being. I went a year without ativan once before, and I'm sleeping like a log now, so maybe I can try sleeping without it (I still have lots of sedation).

So that's my story now. If I can feel so positive after getting through a hectic Monday and Tuesday this week we'll be in great shape.