I'll be so glad to talk to Dr. Mind and have things be better tomorrow. This is just too much stress and honestly it's probably very good that I have him tomorrow, Dr. Brain Saturday and Dr. Mind Monday.
No news on the baby yet. I'm surprised there isn't a surgery date but I guess that they'll do this on their own schedule. If it were me I'd do it ASAP because it can become worse (much worse) by 2 months. I did make my mom promise to tell me what is going on; my sister has been known to tell her things and then say "don't tell anyone" and so I find out from random people later. Yet when I didn't want my bipolar known she told everyone. Not that I'm bitter.
Ironically I just got a letter that I had reached the magic point that I didn't have to pay mortgage insurance anymore effective my next payment. Um, thanks?
Friday I close on my house. My mom is going along for moral support but when she said we should go to the better grocery up there afterwards and I said as long as I'm not crying she acted annoyed that I'm upset. For some reason that I can't follow she thinks that if I'm sad about my house then I am not appreciative of my new place. Which is not true. I can be both and I've told her this a lot of times. I don't know why she doesn't understand or how to word it differently. Dr. Mind has tried too, so it's not just me. It just isn't that big of a loss to her. I guess it wasn't the fanciest home to lose and maybe that's why; the new place will be nicer albeit smaller but that didn't matter, it was mine.
I went to do a few errands today. In the dollar store someone said "Hi Jen". I didn't recognize her although she was familiar. It took prompting like I was a bit slow (she had lost about 50 lbs and dyed her hair) but the speaker was a former supervisor who kept telling me she was absolutely on my side and that I was being treated unfairly when her superiors were working hard to fire me. But after it happened she never had the grace to call me or indicate in any way that she wasn't entirely for firing me. They mailed most of my possessions back by dumping them out of their containers into a box with a small hole and some of my things did not make it back to me. They all hated me. I'm not saying I was doing a great job for them. I wasn't. They had requirements that were more difficult than average and I couldn't keep up well. But rather than trying to help or even listening to the OT who had evaluated me a year before when she came to talk to them about to help me work more effectively they sought out ways to fire me, catching me in errors that did not matter at all (or were not errors; at least one I was set up and another if I had pushed it with the OT board I would have won, plus that was done based on what the person I met today told me to do in her role as supervisor). The dumb thing is there were valid reasons to fire me had they only bothered to look. But anyway, it was totally uncomfortable and I still have no idea why she didn't let me just walk on past, focused on whether I felt like carrying 40 lbs of cat litter up 2 flights of stairs or if I would go somewhere tomorrow to get a reasonable size container. But I've been waiting to run into someone from that time since I moved here and now I have. I still think that unless she wanted to say something along the lines of "I'm sorry about what happened" she should have let me go on, but whatever. This is part of the reason I don't work now.Tomorrow I finally see Dr. Mind. I am so ready for help dealing with all of this.