Lonely Bipolar I RCME-S* Seeks Anonymous Friends

In designing this blog I did everything I could to protect my own anonymity. As I've said before, I fear the professional repercussions much more than personal ones. I realize that no blog is totally anonymous and I've chosen to live with that risk. As I've gotten more used to this it has actually gotten more difficult; I want to refer to things like the state where I live, or my job title, and that would not be a good idea. Sadly I have to limit what I can say about parts of the mentally ill mental health professional aspect of my job, and that's a large part of what I feel is unique about me.

One of the things I hoped would come from this would be a chance to meet others who either deal with bipolar in the same way I do, or who know someone who does. Although I certainly have times I feel sorry for myself, I have never been able to handle being told I "couldn't". If something really is in that category I need to find that out for myself. And it's worked; I have done much more than I "should" have done.

What I have not gained is much contact with others like me. Part of that is because there probably are not many. I fit into so many small categories of bipolar that even if I was more typical in how I reacted to those categories I wouldn't fit well. And then somehow so far I've managed to function better than expected much of the time, which just puts me in a weirder category.

I've tried online support groups. I don't fit in. I get fed up with comparing life to "normal" people, feeling constantly sorry for everyone, and the tendency to react heavily only to posts with great drama. Local support groups aren't an option because 1)I live in the middle of a large cow pasture and they don't exist 2) I can't interact with my mentally ill peers in this area as they may become my patients which would be all sorts of uncomfortable and potentially damaging 3) I can't travel far enough to get away from my referral base.

So, it's time to see what we've got here. I know some of you are coming back fairly regularly. In fact, 2 of you are from the same city and I'd love to know if you're the same person with 2 computers or are a big coincidence. If you are interested in being totally anonymous but interacting (all I know is what city you're in and sometimes who provides your internet service), please leave a comment or email me (see left column). Be as anonymous as you'd like. I will never "check you out" nor berate anyone for saying anything anonymously on this blog or in this email account. If I don't like what you say I'll ignore it. If you're bipolar I'd love to see a few bipolar patients interact here, especially if you have similar circumstances to me that limits interaction otherwise. If you're a friend or family member or professional or just curious, you too may join in. I don't often get to talk to anyone who is outside my own tight circle about what it is like to be around someone who is bipolar, what it is like for my colleagues who know about my illness to try to handle it (for me this is a big issue coming at me by the time I am ready to return to work), or anything else. My goal in starting this page was to facilitate communication so that someday I don't have other professionals who I deeply respect stun me with prejudicial statements about an illness they have no idea I have. Well, it's been nearly 6 months now, I'm bored, so let's do it!

*rapid cycling mixed episodes-severe (my credentials)