I hate my birthday. Many painful things have happened on my birthday and I just would rather skip it. But of course I can't. I have no problem with growing older, in fact I ENJOY that part (I am so very tired of looking 18, you'd understand if I posted a picture). Therefore, this year I've decided to mainly celebrate by recognizing that this blog has been around for one year.
About 2 weeks ago I asked for questions about me to be answered to have something different on this day. Only one person answered, but with good questions. So we'll leave it open for more questions throughout the day, which means really into Tuesday as I don't have much free time on Mondays.
And the answers are:
1. I think you mentioned that you were previously married ... but that you aren't now. Am I right? (I don't need any details you aren't comfortable sharing but whatever you feel like talking about is good with me.)
Nope, in fact I am as single as humanly possible. I have never been in a serious relationship and in fact have never even been kissed. That's one of my stranger for 31 years old things, but back when I was much younger I was very firm in my beliefs about intimacy and relationships and where things should begin, mainly in marriage. As I went through some bad relationships and learned that I just wasn't ready for relationships to get that serious because my life had been too complicated (and I was just too bipolar but didn't yet know it) I decided to wait until I knew things were right before getting into any relationship at all. I haven't been well enough for the last 6 years for this to be much of a consideration, other than making me sad at times. Mostly though I know that I am right for avoiding relationships until I can handle it, as it is not fair to me or him, whoever "he" is. Overall this works well for me.
2. Do you have a favorite color? Why is it your favorite color?
Usually it is yellow. Sometimes green. I am affected by bright colors at times, so I tend to prefer tones in the "watercolor" range to be surrounded by. However, I choose to wear fairly bright prints on my scrub tops each day. When I'm not working I wear much more muted tones, deep purples, greens, and blues. My house has a lot of greens and peach in it. Some of the peach is a mistake and needs painted the milky color I want in my kitchen, which is to have purple accents. My dream room (ie hopefully I'll get there in the next 3 years room) will be very pale grey and the goal in that room is to have a very peaceful place to relax when there's too much stimulation.
3. What does your typical weeknight meal look like?
Ha! My grandmother would roll over in her grave.....Because I work unusual hours my dinner tends to be odd. I try to cook at least one big thing on Sundays to have several times during the week. Last week it was a casserole, this week a pot roast. I eat that several days. One night a week I see my therapist and have to eat out; that varies from Panera soup to pizza. I try to make it a cheap treat night. I frequently indulge my love of reuben subs that night. If things are not going well and I'm getting off late I eat a lot of subs, trying to stick to healthy ones. I also get a lot of restaurant carry-out during busy times. Not the best, but could be worse. I also do quick cooking as I can; this week I'll have fajitas sometime, barbecue ham sandwiches one day, etc. When I'm less able to manage I resort to Lean Cusines and canned soups, but I try to save those for when I feel bad because I get sooooooooooooo sick of them. That's one thing I miss about city life, lots more carry-out options in the much healthier range.
I love to cook but it's too much for me to handle regularly. If I take this other job I will have a day off mid-week to prepare another meal.
4. Do you wear glasses? If so, how do you deal with their physical pressure when you're feeling flighty? (I have this problem ... on my more-manic days I can't wear my glasses for fear that I'll throw them across the room when they get too heavy. I also have to have plastic frames and lenses so that they're lighter and more resistant.)
I do wear glasses. They don't cause me much problem though unless the frame is bent or something which actually messes up the correction I have so that is a fair reason to be disturbed. I have to be very careful with what lenses I get though because I need to have very little of the frame in my visual field or it bothers me. I've bent my frames trying to "fix" this before. I also get very light frames and lenses. I think it helps that I really, really need them. I have a weird problem where my left eye sees fine but doesn't like to do much work up close, so without my glasses my right eye suffers. Plus my meds cause me to have enormous and painful pupils which my glasses correct. Knowing that makes them much more tolerable. I guess it's like wearing a bra; not the least bit comfortable by required in public, but I can get through it knowing the moment I'm home I can do whatever. After all, who needs to see out of 2 eyes at home? I do, really, but I do take glasses breaks at home.
5. Do you have a preference for odd or even numbers? I struggle with this myself ... I have to end things on even numbers. Hence ......
No. At least not that I've noticed. And I would have because I write goal lists all the time that are typically 3 or 4 long and I don't care about either. I don't have a lot of OCD magical thinking type stuff, although my psychologist thinks a part of my noise problems, specifically my inability to tolerate music because it repeats forever in my head, is OCD like. Learning to control this is on my list of hopeful goals soon, although I haven't told him that yet.
6. What is your favorite board game? Scrabble. In fact that's one of my proudest things of the last year. I love Scrabble and have always loved playing it with my mom. We have the dorky Scrabble lover's deluxe edition and everything. Last year I quit playing because I wasn't good anymore. Eventually we got the lithium thing figured out but I still haven't been able to play because it was too hard and my attention was too limited. I was given computer Scrabble for Christmas and wasn't sure I'd be able to do it, but have been really enjoying it. So tonight my mom and I played and it was the best game ever. I only lost by 5 points and I was ahead most of the game. That was the best part of my not-yet-my-birthday celebration.