I called and left a message for my doctor today. This entire thing is more complicated by my doctor's change of practice, which leaves me not 100% sure what is going on. I have no clue what gets communicated to my doctor of messages I leave now, nor if she even gets them. Last week I called about when my appointment would be this month and both secretaries I talked to sounded as if I was crazy to think I would get an appointment any time soon at all and left with with the distinct impression they thought I was making up my story about having routine monthly appointments and being told I would be called to see her this month.
I am left with the feeling that I want to show up and introduce myself. "Hi, I'm Just Me. I'm not very stable, so get used to the sound of my voice. I don't lie about what I need though, and it's very hard for me to call the doctor so I won't do it unless I need to. I certainly won't lie to get appointments. Yes, I get insulted when you act like I am a pest. No, I'm not very articulate on messages when I feel bad. I get pretty annoyed when you sigh at me when I ask something that truly is reasonable; you were not present at my appointment or any of my appointments in the last 4 years, so really you don't know what the doctor and I have established. Mainly though, please remember I'm human and have feelings and know when you talk down to me. I am a psychiatric patient, and there's a reason I am seeing Dr. Wonderful at Famous Hospital, but I am not stupid." I also would like to inform the secretary I spoke to at the facility where I actually see the dr. (not her main office), that telling me with horror that if I need that much care I would need to see the doctor at her MAIN office, when that is clearly not what I have worked out with the doctor, does not help any situation.
So anyway, I have now done my part to get help, and if I don't get a call in a few days then I will start being more aggressive. I'm also going to talk to the doctor more specifically about avoiding this mess because it is stressing me out.
Happy New Year!