What happened (sort of)

I'm too emotionally drained and embarrassed to be specific, but this week's crisis is more or less over.

Essentially I asked my direct supervisor about doing something because I didn't know how to handle it, I did what we agreed upon, and it was very much against a major policy. Had several things not occurred (like asking the supervisor) I certainly would have been fired. As it was I received a final written warning and was suspended from work for a day and a half. Any further errors in that arena will mean firing.

The whole thing was horrible. All I really could think of is how much I love working and how I seem to just not be able to do so well. Then I did what seemed right and requested an emergency visit with Dr. Mind, only to spend 40 minutes waiting before checking with the secretary. She said he hadn't arrived, to keep waiting and she'd try again. I waiting another 45 minutes or so and they said they had no idea, that he never misses (which I know), and that they'd have him call me. Eventually he did but he didn't have any more appointments. So I sat on a bench at the shopping center I was at and cried and talked to him for a few pointless minutes. It was a communication problem and nobody's fault, but I'm having trouble not being angry at him just because it was one more thing that went wrong this week. I really want to get back in to see him sooner, but I doubt I'll succeed because getting an appointment I can take before my set one would be a miracle.

So that's it. I'm not sure I'm ok. I guess I will be. I feel very shocked still. I also am very embarrassed.

More later....