Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Hating Bipolar

I had a tough day and am just not in the best of moods.  Work stuff.  Let's just say I'm working Memorial Day but will be considering it a day off because of decreased staffing.

But now I'm really in a bad mood.  I'm having dental work done tomorrow, which is going to cost me $600.  My dentist does a thing where you can open a line of credit to pay the bills.  I was denied.  I know why, it's because my credit score isn't good.  I'm trying.  I've paid off a car and a major bill in the last few months and knocked another huge chunk off another which I'm trying to eliminate so I can transfer my final credit card to its lower interest.  But then I turned around and missed 2 months on another payment.  And over the years of being so sick there were plenty of months I missed plenty of payments.  I've never defaulted or anything but been late, but right now that is considered too risky.  It freaks me out because in a year or so I'll need a car loan and I'm going to suffer greatly.  

So now I have to pay $600 on my credit card and then will have to pay that off on my card as fast as possible.

Until I got sick I was obsessive about these things.  And I've done my best, it's just my best has been not so good sometimes.  

It makes me feel like crap about myself......

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