Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

I hate this

So the anxiety/mood symptoms are now officially annoying me.  I'll live, but it's 12:45 AM and I am wide awake worrying.  Which has been fairly typical lately, which is why I'm exhausted all the time.

Also, I can't help what I'm worrying about.  Money.  Ick.  I'm so blessed to have a good job.  I'm in a place that I have so much more than so many.  Healthcare is one of those areas that the economy affects differently, and while things are tighter with healthcare there are still jobs.  But, I still have huge medical costs, and I don't work full-time.  I was figuring today that the difference between a 40 hour week and my week, combined with my meds and therapy, would mean the difference between living paycheck to paycheck and actually having money.

Right now I'm upset because I need a new mattress.  This was slowly approaching as my mattress aged, but I was hoping to get through paying my mother off several thousand dollars I owe her, plus I'm trying to pay off credit cards and feeling I'm making no progress (I had made a lot, then had to charge my crown last week).  And I was working on vacation savings.  I really need vacation time again and time away from anything work-like and home-like is something my doctors strongly encourage.  But my mattress had a spring that was poking the edge for months, and it has now torn.  So, good-bye savings.

This is all bipolar freaking out, and tomorrow I'll feel better.  But right now I just want to scream.  

I always forget how uncomfortable this stuff feels.


Christine said...

THanks for your comments on my blog. May I make a suggestion? How about getting a thick mattress pad or two at Walmart for $20 a piece? That should do the job for at least a while and you can still do a little vacation?

Just Me said...

Thanks for the idea. Unfortunately, the mattress tore straight down the side (and then ripped the box spring to boot). I had a spring that I knew was bending out for a while and I guess it finally managed to escape.

The good part of that is that I can comfortably sleep in the bed until I buy a new one. It just will eat up my "fun money". But that's the way it goes.