But I'm feeling anxious and a little down. And I really don't like it. Partly this is because I feel I can't do much with my mood stabilizers to help, assuming I want to keep working. Which I very much do.
The main reason is simply that I missed 2 weeks of counseling in a row and I know better. Two weeks ago he was out of town, and last week I had a dental crown and was just too exhausted to handle sedation followed by 2 hours of driving and an hour of talking I knew I wouldn't handle well because of the exhaustion. However, missing counseling means lots of anxiety and that makes me feel depressed because it frightens me to feel off-kilter at all.
It's so weird. I knew that if I ever was well again I would have to learn my triggers. I even know that this is a big one. And I also know sometimes it's unavoidable. But I find it so odd that it is really harder for me to be careful to adhere to something simple like "I need to see Dr. Mind" than it is to take my pills.
36 more hours to that appointment....give or take.....