Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Being all better can be FUN! And it can make me cry

I love seeing my doctors lately. Everyone is so pleased at how well I am doing, how I am amazingly functioning at a normal level and actually find pleasurable activities to do. The sewing thing is turning out to not just be fun, I'm actually pretty darn good at it. My grandma was amazing and she taught me a lot, but that was many years ago. I seem to have inherited her gift. (And as a total aside, I'm so excited because I got stuff to make overalls for the baby today. I LOVE itty bitty babies in overalls!)

The thing that is funny is that everyone gives someone else the credit. I get a good deal, which I think is ridiculous because the only thing I did was make it through while other people came up with what would help and gave me the support I needed to make it. But Dr. Mind credits Dr. Body and Dr. Body today told me that she referred someone to Dr. Mind, telling them how incredible he has been for me and what an awesome relationship we have developed, and that if they couldn't see him don't go to anyone else in the practice, call her for another referral. I can't wait to tell him that part, I think it's pretty neat. She used to be the consulting psychiatrist for that practice, that's how I found her and how they know one another. So she knows several of the therapists and she basically just said he's above and beyond the best.

I also love getting to watch people's faces when I saw I'm feeling the best I've ever felt. Dr. Body and Dr. Brain both had the same look of amazement this week when told. Dr. Mind seems to see progress a few days before I do so I see less because I'm reporting less, but even he can't quit grinning talking about how good I am, which is true for everyone involved.

I knew that they were all highly invested in me. I know from what I do how much you get out of a patient succeeding after you go 10 extra miles for them. They've gone about 100 extra miles for me, and I love watching them get actual pay-off, after years of just glueing me together the best they could and believing I could still recover.

This is making me cry. It's actually really emotional for me still to be able to say "I'm well." I never, ever thought I would get to say that 3 times in one week to 3 doctors who have all worked so hard to help me. I never thought that I could enjoy life so much. Only 2 years ago, when I was first diagnosed with diabetes insipidus, I made a decision without even considering that I would tax my kidneys some if that's what it took to be on lithium, because I didn't really care if my kidneys ran out early and I didn't get to live to be 90. I didn't want to. I can't say that a long life is my goal yet, and in many situations I wouldn't opt for certain treatments, but I also wouldn't choose immediately to die thinking that finally I had a way out if I developed some illness. Two years ago I would have told you I wouldn't ever treat cancer or anything of the sort because I didn't want to go on hurting. Obviously life still has plenty of challenges unique to my situation, but I no longer don't care if I have a life.

I've got to sleep. I'm exhausted. I slept in until about 5 because I made myself, then worked on making a list of things to pick up today, made a pattern for something I'm making my sister from looking at a commercial item, washed dishes, did a load of laundry, etc. and then I had to get my car repaired and sit for nearly 2 hours, then drive to Dr. Brain's office. She was running way late, so I sat for another hour there. Then I drove back to the city where I work, saw a couple patients, then went and bought a bunch of fabric stuff because of a big sale. Then I continued my quest for organic cotton that didn't cost a zillion dollars for my sister's thing, then I tried to buy sneakers because my feet hurt horribly, and then finally found what I needed for my sister's project at Target. Then I drove an hour home, and took meds and am waiting to get sleepy. IN about 30 minutes I'm taking some valium too, I'm really wound up tonight.

Anyway, more tomorrow.

1 comment:

Emilija said...

You have accomplished an incredible amount. It would have been so easy to give up along the way, and you didn't. You kept going, kept trying, through all that life and this illness has thrown at you. You are a very strong person.