Hard times

This is so weird. Psychologically I am doing really, really well. Emotionally I am hurting. The wait to talk to Dr. Mind about just the beginning (or maybe just HOW) I've going to be talking to him about what I discussed in the last post was hard. I've been having more and more trouble with wanting to constantly sleep. Since the discussion yesterday I have cried or slept as much as possible, yet not nearly enough. I had no idea I felt so sad.

It's a time of other things though. According to him, words I never use, feeling words, were all over the place yesterday. I really have come to a new place, and I do believe it's the right one for me right now. It's just so, so hard to start.

I have a weird week due to an inservice, so that I see him again Tuesday. I also see Dr. Brain tomorrow. I had wanted her to see me doing so incredibly well on so little med, and she still will, but in a much more sad way. That alone makes me cry. I even almost cried at work over the stupidest thing.

It's also a weird thing to cry like this. I've been on so much medication over the last year that it feels odd to have normal emotions. I'm not sure how long this will last; so far it has no sign of letting up.

And, allergies have returned and I ITCH. It's making me crazier than I already was.....