Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Friday, April 15, 2011


I don't know if I've ever talked about my infancy; why would I?  But this is funny, in a sad way.  I had severe "colic" (now I have been treated for severe reflux probably) and cried for 8 solid months.  I had to be held during that time and my mother slept only during the rare times I'd let her lay on the couch while maintaing pressure on my belly.  My grandma took care of me after my mom went back to work.  My grandma wanted a granddaughter more than anything in the world after 4 sons, and she had 2 older than I but they did not live locally.  So when I finally came along, 16 years into her grandmotherhood (my father was 12 years younger than his oldest brother) she wanted nothing more than to spoil me and I didn't tolerate her much until I was 7 months old.  It's not stated explicitly because she never would be so direct, but I made her life really, really tough during those first few months after my mom had to go back to work.  But this cracked me up:
"I don't know how an 8 months old child can do without sleep as she does".
If only she knew.

[ETA; And thank God she never did. My illness would have hurt her so much.  Also, although she knew later about the molesting but not to the degree or frequency or anything else, I'm so glad she didn't know what I know now with reasonable certainty: the date my grandfather first molested me.  I was 8 months old, Sept. 20, 1976.  I suspect this because the routine became as of that day that he took me upstairs and stayed upstairs while I napped, and he molested me while he had that "free time" he called his own nap time.  Although it sounds crazy I have memories that are from 8 1/2-9 months old that I know weren't fed to me as I thought I was 1 or 2 and mentioned it to my brother who was able to date it for sure and I was an infant.  I know by association with other things that I can tag with a date that he was molesting me by 11 months.  I talked very early and apparently memory starts when you can form complete thoughts.  So I was the same age exactly as my niece is now.  In that context it is even worse.]

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