Confirmed

Actually not just confirmed, really confirmed and raised one notch. Dr. Mind saw something was wrong immediately and by the end of my visit we agreed that I'm very likely having a mild mixed episode. Obviously I know how to handle these, and the timing of my appointment with Dr. Brain couldn't be better, nor could my day off tomorrow.

However, the day itself hasn't been the cure-all I had hoped for. I wanted to nap. I hoped for at least a 3 hour nap. Instead I slept maybe 45 restless minutes. Dr. Mind said several times I was agitated, but I didn't feel like I really got the agitation out in a lasting manner. I remember thinking that I was calmer at the end because of letting go of some of it, but I was agitated again within 45 minutes. If I don't get sleepy in the next hour I'm going to really drug myself into it. I need some good sleep. Tomorrow I have booked a hotel near my doctor's office so that I can drive up in the evening, spend the night, sleep in on Saturday and still make it to my appointment. Then I'll return home with a brief stop at Target and then spend the rest of the weekend resting.

I know this is nothing so far. Sleep, my most reliable signal, is not bad enough to show that things are very bad. I'm not falling asleep until 1, and I'm restless, but that is manageable. The episodes that land me in trouble are the ones where I go from sleeping fine to being up until 4 or 5 am overnight.

One of the signals that I'm having an episode is always food cravings and a lack of appetite for anything else. I'd been very interested in pineapple lately and should have paid attention to that. Now it is Lipton Noodle soup. I'm about to go make the 7th packet I've eaten of it, plus 2 cans of regular chicken soup when I was desperate, since Sunday.

I am proud of myself for changing the kitty litter today. Tomorrow I need to do some dishes. I can do this. This is not the end of the world as i know it......