Progress

Dr. Mind is going to be away for a few days so I saw him tonight.  Generally if he's going to be gone or I am we keep it lighter.  We did today, with my explaining more than I apparently had before about the absolutely horrible therapists I had in grad school (remind me and I'll tell you about them). Somewhere in there I drifted off on a manic tangent. He actually aimed me that way, I did not do it myself.  I think that I have been more conscious of the changes in my speech patterns this time than before, and especially of my inability to recover when I wander then can't regain the topic.  Very sneakily he let me go off on some crazy tangent then asked what  we had been talking about.  It took thinking and a couple tries to get it together but I remembered and got back there.  He of course knew all along but hid this.  The fact he knew really is a good sign as when it's really bad I go down so many paths at once it's impossible to sort out or follow at all.  So I'm getting better.  I  knew it, but that was huge evidence of real progress which is a very big deal. It's been months since I've had the ability to figure out where my own thoughts have gone and although it seems small it is really huge that I can do this because it means things are improving.

And now I need to sleep as tomorrow is a very busy day as is every day this week.  urgh.