Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Monday, September 24, 2012

I'm sorry.  I'm a posting truant.  It's hard.  I am working my way off pain meds but am very, very tired a lot.  I have a tendency to overdo.  Today I got out of the house to Walmart for a little bit and have been more insomniac than anything else since but today is my first day of not napping and that's only because I slept late and then was anxious.  I also have some belly cramps.  For all the warnings about constipation I have not had that issue.  It remains to be seen in my uterus was causing the chronic constipation of the last 10 years.  It was definteily making urinating difficult which is weird to get used to as well.

Walmart was a lot and it was frustrating trying to acquire a 2nd pair of pants that fit.  I had to hem what I got.  I am not proportional right now.  At all.  On the other hand I'm going to be going doing about 5 sizes soon.

I've gotten myself worked up because I realized that the last time I slept well for more than a day or two was when I was on Vicodin last year and now that I've had some sleep I don't want to go back to insomnia.  I know this sounds sort of like addiction and it's not, it's just vicodin is the only thing that has reminded me of how wonderful sleep feels when it's not earned by waging war.

A friend had a surprise bypass surgery last week and I've been worried about that.  Things seem to be improving but still it's scary.  I have the weird position of seeing people recover from that surgery (and others) as many new techniques were developed and so I know that bypass recovery isn't the end of the world.  When I was new to therapy it was about 2x as hard as it is now.  Not saying it's easy, it's not at all but at least they have it down to being less invasive.  So I'm about one week further into a 6 week recovery for both, although vastly, vastly different.  I don't think I'll talk about about the ways my surgery is uncomfortable but it's a bit unique.

I'm still not very comfortable sitting and typing, which is the real reason for fewer posts.  It's improving so we're getting there.  It's also hard to say much; I don't do much and not only is a litany of healing boring it also gets kinda personal.

anyway, time to try to sleep.  I see Dr Mind tomorrow and that's caused anxiety that kept me up, I think.

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