I'll be admitted tomorrow morning. Things were messed up in Cleveland so by the time I knew it was a go it was too late to take my cats to the vet for boarding. The good news is they've got some new protocols for people in my situation. The bad news is that I'm getting the last female bed and that means a roommate. They will try to get me alone if it is needed as people are discharged, but for now the woman who can't stand any noise at all and who is up and agitated much of the night has to share a room. I cried. That made Dr.Brain use her professional voice, which I know is just her doing what she has to, but I felt awful. I apologized and the dr. voice was gone in the return email, she knew what I was upset about. I just feel like I'm demanding too much or something.
Anyway, I don't want to start crying b/c my mom is supposed to call me in a few minutes. More from the other side.
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Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13
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- Over the years I have noticed that when I have the least hope a rainbow appears. Rainbows are a wonderful combination of beauty, hope, happiness and rain, the product of ugly grey clouds that hide the beauty of the sky. The beauty that is a rainbow can only come with the presence of both rain and sun. Such is life with bipolar disorder. There are good times, there are tough times, and there are rainbows to remind us that beauty will return, sometimes fleetingly and sometimes for a long time. This blog is my story of sadness and hope. Please scroll down to "Who I Am" under Pages to read more about me and the people who populate this blog.
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Please note that any patient experiences noted in this blog are heavily edited to disguise events. Similarities to real persons are coincidental.
Please also know that while I speak as a professional at times, I am not a doctor. I have strong opinions, some based on professional training and/or experience, some based on research, and some based on personal experience of my own variety of this illness. Therefore what I say is my opinion, not a fact and doctors should always be consulted.
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3 comments:
Jen, I am guessing that your cats are with you tonight to keep you company then? I hope so.
Not good about sharing a room, but perhaps the situation may change by tomorrow. Or shortly after. Is it unrealistic to think you may not be up and agitated all night if they find a magic sleeping potion for you?
Regardless of all the rest, I am GLAD for you. It sounds ridiculous, but I am glad you will get treated for this sleep problem, for that is the only way you will get to the right end of your rainbow. I am glad that even though you are not your best right now, you are not even close to where you were two years ago. I think I am even glad you are crying for at least you are letting some of the frustration and feeling OUT.
I hope you can update while in the hospital. If you do, or if you don't, I will be sending good thoughts and prayers your way.
Keep your chin up.
B.
Sending love and peace and healing. May you be safe and well cared for and return soon to your life. Wrapping all the love around you that we can in returning what you have given me in the way of hope for my son.
I do not know you but I am sending you loads of strength through the virtual world. From what I can sense, you are doing what you know must be done. You're taking care of yourself, protecting yourself and keeping YOU safe. That is what is most important here. I wish you well and hope that having a roommate isn't as bad as it seems it might be, and that you'll have a safe space of your own shortly after you arrive. Much love (from a stranger, yes) and strength to you as you move forward. I will be keeping an eye on this space and look forward to hearing from you when you return home.
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