You've got to be kidding me

Granted, I missed at least one daytime dose of medication. Granted, I'm stressed about a few things I haven't posted yet. But I should not be awake. If I am not sleepy in 30 minutes then I will have to take ambien. I hate ambien. (This is mainly because it only works a short time and then leaves me stranded with just about every time it has been used in that last 15 years.) I'm awake with anxiety which is weird after being about as agitated as a turnip all day. I hate this. I suppose I could take that Neurontin that I missed, it would be well within safe (and a dose I was given in the hospital I think). I think that's the plan. This is the hardest part of what I've been through; it's scary when anything seems to not work. Yet I didn't follow the exact routine of the hospital where I usually showered around 8:30-9:30; I showered at 10:15. I threw in a load of laundry about 9:45 because I knew I didn't have anything to wear tomorrow. And the computer is on when I would at most rapidly check email at this time inpatient. So I guess it's time to eliminate that variable and read, and then make a decision about meds in a bit. I solemnly do swear to not forget meds tomorrow.