Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Multitude of stuff

This post is going to be pretty disjointed......I have had a busy week with a good bit on my mind, and combined with my med changes I've pretty much just been working or sleeping. I feel really good and am actually falling asleep very soon after I take my meds, which is a big change for me. I think I'm currently maintaining some hypomania which is letting me function well, but I'm honestly not totally certain. So that's where I've been, basically trying to figure things out. Now, on to the randomness...

  • I have been bipolar for a long time and very rarely have been not in some kind of episode. I have gotten good at recognizing where I am, mostly, and over time have earned the right to adjust many meds myself based on knowing how I react and feel at any given time. If I say that I need to increase my __ by however many mgs, chances are good that will happen, even if I'm suggesting an odd number. But hypomania? This is new. Pleasant, but new. Because I go into mixed episodes so easily and because my manias are the irritable, angry, unpleasant kind I have little experience with bipolar doing anything that feels good. I like this. I believe my doctor has said that if I can find a hypomania that I function well at and don't have bad manic symptoms that she will let me coast there. I really hope this is it, because I like it.
  • Crazy public service announcement but I can't stop thinking about it and even dreaming about it. Apparently kids (at least in this area) are really getting into dirt bikes and parents are giving them to fairly young kids, with lots of padding equipment and the belief that helmets and padding prevent tragedies. Well, the last few years taught me a lot about dirt bikes, motor cycles, 4 wheelers, etc. For some time I worked with brain injured patients and there were always several at any given time who had acquired their injury with one of these devices. I thought I understood them how much can be taken away by taking a risk that seems small, but I didn't. My uncle had a motorcycle accident a few years ago. His helmet saved his life but it did not stop his neck from being snapped back. His brain injury was minimal but the spinal cord injury was pretty devastating. My image of him through my whole life was an active person, very independent, and now, well, he is doing well, but he's in an electric wheelchair and always will be. You cannot pad or externally stabilize your neck. Human versus tree/sign/wall/rock/car/etc. is going to result in human losing. The most minor injury I've ever seen from one of these things resulted in permanent loss of movement.
  • I'm facing a week with the tiniest support system ever. My mom is on a cruise ship and my therapist is on vacation. I'm glad I'm doing well enough that I will be fine, but I'm nervous as well. It is hard to be confident I am handling anything that comes up appropriately without feedback. I feel really good that I've improved enough from last year that I am doing this without all sorts of "in cases" set up. Last year I had this week all set up so that I was checking in with the psychiatrist instead, and another therapist was prepared if I needed to go up there. I honestly don't know if that's even set up this year; I know I said I'd be ok when it was mentioned, but I also know I could get in to see someone if I needed to. I just don't know how it would help since a stranger isn't going to be able to do much.
  • I am very, very thankful to the people at Morning Sunrise. They make the True Sun clock which has made my life much easier over the last year. This clock has a feature that creates a sundown at bedtime and ultimately turns out the light, then slowly wakes you up with gradual light in the morning. It's expensive, but for me, very worth it. The thing is that mine broke last month and was still pretty new. I contacted them and without even asking questions or requiring me to do a thing I had a brand new unit on my porch yesterday, sent FedEx, nonetheless. It took less than 2 weeks from when I contacted them. Such great customer service. I think it's probably a bad sign about our usual customer service in this country that I had decided I hadn't heard from them and they weren't requesting the old unit or shipping fees so I would never hear, and was going to order a new clock.

I think that's about it for now. I have to do a lot of laundry. I'm trying to figure out the best way to wash my weighted blanket. It is supposed to be hand washed, but it really needs more because it is a cat hair magnet. I think I'm going to risk the delicate cycle. Really hope it's not a terrible idea because I don't want to have to wait a week to sleep....:) I found better ones online for my next one that are a better fabric. My favorite site so far and the one I will probably try for my next blanket because they make large, adult sized blankets, is this. I like the idea of having something less clinical looking and maybe even something that matches my room. Plus the idea of not attracting cat hair is fabulous.

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