Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Friday, August 31, 2007

This is well, insanity

I don't know what's up with me. I'm firmly holding to a levels issue until I hear a result, but after being so tired I missed work (I NEVER miss work just for tired) last night I had the worst insomnia I've had in over a year. I slept a grand total of 90 minutes. And I've been no different than usual today.

I think my mood is fine. But I don't know early mania sometimes. I'm going to get a psychological check-up tomorrow to see if he can verify or point out anything. Today I've felt maybe a touch of mania, but not the huge signs that usually exist. I also haven't really felt any depression to explain the fatigue. Yet something is off.

It just feels so strange. Typically if I were cycling by now I would KNOW it, or on rare occasions I would be completely out of control, and in a way I know that as well, I just couldn't care less. I'm neither of those places. I think when I am forced to evaluate in a very quiet room in therapy tomorrow I'll find that I'm taking a trip through Mania-r-Us, but in such a mild way it's not a big deal yet. But still, it's just not right. I haven't even taken on one ridiculous project....


Emilija said...

Do you have anything you can take for sleep? If I can get myself to sleep, I can usually head off impending hypomania. I also find that when the seasons change, it throws off sleep, energy, moods. Maybe that has something to do with it.

Just Me said...

Yeah, I have lots I can take. It's just hard to figure it out. I take atarax round the clock for anxiety and can double my bedtime dose, as I've done 2 days now. I can throw in an Ativan (or many ativans) as well; may need that tonight. I also have other sleeping pills. I just never get it right on dosing during this kind of thing; too much or not enough. Last night wasn't bad though, once I fell asleep.